


Sound Shenanigans

by b0r3d_bl0gg3r



Series: Late Night Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Sound Shenanigans, Zaku has great friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-24
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-10 22:14:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4409759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/b0r3d_bl0gg3r/pseuds/b0r3d_bl0gg3r
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between Orichimaru's odd but endearing quirks, the sound fours teenage troubles and the civilian's bizarre complaints about the surrounding snake population, Kabuto has <i>a lot to deal with.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Orochimaru likes to pet.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kabuto was pretty indifferent concerning Orochimaru's quirks, but the petting was a bit too much. Even for him.

"Please," Kabuto sighed for the fifth time that hour, pinching the bridge of his nose, "stop petting the test subjects."

Orochimaru, of course, chose to ignore him. Instead he carefully removed the scalpel from the subject's thigh and placed it on the dish next to him. "Put Sano-chan in cell 19 and have Karin monitor her diet."

Kabuto waited for him to finish cleaning his hands before he asked, "And what will her diet be like from now on?"

Orochimaru squinted at a spot on the ceiling, making a mental note to ask Kabuto to have somebody clean that up.

Actually.

"Kabuto," He began seriously, "be a dear and have someone clean the lab before noon."

Kabuto nodded and then, when it was clear Orochimaru wouldn't be saying anything else; like answering his damn question, abruptly turned around and left, slamming the door behind him as he did so.

Orochimaru, once again, ignored him, turning to the other operating table directly opposite Sano-chan, and gazed at the person covered in seaweed longingly.

"Ah." He sighed, "If only you were taller."

He had a strict list of physical characteristics he disliked immensely in his new bodies, and being short was at the topmost of that list.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Kabuto has to deal with this shit on a daily basis, and the diet thing? That'll be addressed in a later one-shot. No worries. 
> 
>  
> 
> So this will most likely be a series of one-shots? That might end up being connected? I'm winging it. 
> 
> So tell me how you feel about it? Also comment if you want any particular character to pop up? I'm flexible.


	2. Zaku's a nice guy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sound isn't _all_ filled with bad guys. 
> 
>  
> 
> Or, er-not everyone who thinks that, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AhahahahHAAHAHAHA!  
> Idek.
> 
> Pre-chuunin exams? Because my memory about anyone in this stupid manga is very limited.

A hushed silence descended around the training grounds once the dust died out.

"That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit." Zaku was the first to whisper, with a white knuckled grip on his kunai.

Tayuya smacked him on the shins from where she was sitting on the only patch of grass left.

" _You idiot_!" Dosu hissed, eyes narrowed to try and make out the figures emerging from the smoke that was now filling the area.

"That fucking hurt, Tayuya!" Zaku cried, clutching his shin and spitting in her general direction, "And what's wrong with me stating the fucking obvious anyway?"

Tayuya dodged the well aimed spit ball and stood up, picking up her previously discarded flute, "I'll see you at your funeral."

With a final glare in Zaku's direction she left.

He stared after her, wondering why all the red heads in this place wanted him dead so badly.

"Hey Dosu?"

Dosu grunted and pushed himself off the wall.

"I'm a nice guy," Zaku asked, uncertainty creeping into his voice, "right?"

Dosu froze.

Everyone in the immediate vicinity froze and at once slowly turned to look at Zaku, faces plastered with a look of complete confusion.

" _What_."

Zaku -who for some reason hadn't noticed the large amount of attention his question had garnered- ploughed on, "I'm a pretty swell guy."

"'Swell'?" Somebody murmured incredulously.

Dosu shook his head and turned to leave, "Yeah."

Zaku tilted his head at Dosu's retreating back, inwardly beaming. Maybe this meant Dosu liked him!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dosu just - _just_ -barely tolerates Zaku.  
> The other red head Zaku's thinking about is Karin who slapped him before he even said anything the first time they met. 
> 
>    
> Zaku just wants to be friends with everyone yeah. Especially the _ladies._
> 
>    
> Also The 'demon' summoning will be addressed, later. Maybe. Idk.  
>    
> Comment and tell me what your thoughts were?  
> 


	3. Periods are a thing ninja

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zaku knows nothing about the female body, luckily for him Dosu's quite knowledgeable.
> 
> If only he was willing to impart this knowledge onto the younger lot.

Dosu glanced from where he was cleaning his kunai at Zaku, the moron had run head long into his room and nearly taken the door off his hinges. 

There was no way he was paying for any damages this time around.

"Fool," Dosu began, replacing the kunai with his pack of newly bought 6 star shuriken, "what is it this time."

"Something's wrong with Tayuya!" He wheezed out, clutching hus arm. He had most likely cut it when he had tried to stop his skid into Dosu's room using the metal frame of the desk.

Dosu gave him a moment but Zaku just continued to heave and spill blood on his new carpet. 

"Well?" Dosu finally questioned, an eyebrow raised in inquiry. 

(The fact that it twitched periodically every time a drop of blood landed on his carpet went unnoticed by both parties.)

"Something's wrong with Ta-

"Yes, you said, and?" Dosu cut in, irritated.

"I saw her shove her underwear into the washing this morning and it was soaked in blood!" Zaku blurted, all in one breath. If Dosu wasn't sure that Zaku clearly was an idiot, he'd be impressed.

"We're ninja." Dosu stated calmly, turning around and continuing with his morning task, cleaning weapons was dangerous and required one's full attention,

"BUT HER UNDERWEAR!"

Dosu paused and wondered if he really wanted to explain the mechanics of a period to Zaku. 

Hm, no, he really didn't.

With an arm outstreched towards the still hysterical boy, Dosu let the weapon in his arm do its job and mentally hoped Zaku would have the brains to not go and confront Tayuya about this directly. 


End file.
